I Love This Boy

What I Did on My Summer Vacation Pt. 1

Holden found a girlfriend...his Aunt Addy. He took her around the 'hood in his sweet ride. He was pretty upset to find out that she was an independent woman who preferred to drive herself!






This is my brother Brandon. He's 14. Need I say more?










This is my little sister Maddy. She's got the same band of freckles I had at her age. Now I see why everyone thought they were so cute!









This is my lovely sister Christie. Isn't she pretty? It's strange how similar we are.









Here's 5 of the 6 of us. My step sister Nate lie lives in Las Vegas. She's a buyer for Saks. Isn't that snazzy? Anyways, these are my half siblings that I didn't grow up with. They're fabulous. I am so glad I got to spend time with them!

My Family

Abortion Makes Women Believe They are God

I have often said that abortion is so "sacred" because it gives women a false sense of control. This is often written off as "crazy religious wacko talk", and I am often assured that abortion does nothing but get rid of a "problem pregnancy".

I found an interesting post at culturekitchen entitled "The Late Term Abortion I never Had". The story talks about a woman's false positive triple screen and how the experience strengthened her pro-choice convictions. The part I found most telling was her discussion about the "life" of her unborn child.

She wrote-

Because, let me be clear : I did not decide to become a mother because I was told I had a baby.

I am woman and as an autonomous being, I decide [when it] is a fetus becomes my baby.

This is not the job of any god.

This is not the job of any man.

This is not the job of any law.

I am woman : Life begins when I make the choice. (emphasis mine)
I had already chosen this baby as mine. I had already called myself a mother. Not to be, but made. My son's face was all that I awaited. Not motherhood, not 'life' because that already had arrived with my choice.

Thus, mystically, the choice of a woman is purported to have the power to create life. Unfortunately, this is not the case. I could not choose for my dead children to live, nor my body to magically "choose" new life. I know and accept this. To follow pro-choice rhetoric is to deny truth. By clinging to "choice", one need not face the cruel realities of reproduction. From this angle it is much easier to see why "choice" is so easily embraced.

I'm Home

I'm home! I'll upload some pics later today!

Gone Fishin'

We're going on vacation this week. I'll be back around Friday. Have a good week everyone!

Remember What Happens When You Assume?

I have horrific generalized anxiety disorder. I can turn a one word phrase into a death sentance. Somewhere in my deep, dark mind I believe that if I address someone too much, not enough, or too far inbetween they will hate me and run away. After they run away they will probably be hit by a car. Of course, they will die. I will have effectively killed someone due to my lack of eye contact. Or so my mind would have me believe.

With that in mind, I'd like to tell you a story about why I will never go to my bank again. Ever.

It all started innocently enough. I walked into our diserted neighboorhood branch and smiled approvingly as the banker welcomed me to wachovia. That is (in my mind at least) where things started to go wrong. See, I have this compulsive need to tell a male stranger immediately that I am married in some sly, creative way. It's not like I think all the males in the world are attracted to me, I just don't want to have any illusion of attraction.

Anyways, much to my dismay, there was no good time to sneak in a "and my husband did X" type comment into the discussion. I think perhaps I was overly anxious about the situation, and let my anxiety turn my brain into a pile of mush. Judge for yourselves...

Young Male Banker- "Hi, welcome to wachovia! What can I help you with today?"

Me- "I need a money Order"

Young Male Banker- "Do you have you ID?"

Me- "Yes"

Young Male Banker- (Looks at ID and checks against system) "Which address is correct?" (Yes, I'm one of *those* people who moves and doesn't update my DL)

Me- "Er, the one in your system"

Young Male Banker- Laughs "That's Ok I didn't update mine either"

Me- "Uh huh" (In my mind thinking "It would be a good time to make a "so my husband comment...")

Young Male Banker- "Who Do I make the money order to?"

Me- "X Real Estate"

Young Male Banker- "Will you write that out for me, I have terrible spelling"

Me- "Sure, it's hard to spell anyways" (I proceed to write out the name)

Young Male Banker- "Whoa, what's that on your finger? (Points to his LEFT RING FINGER)

Me- "Haha, um I'm married..." (Thinking "What the heck? This can't be happening, people don't just hit on married women like this do they?")

Young Male Banker- "No! Your *other finger* (points to right hand)"

Me- (Wants to die now. Instantly. Someone please bury me...now.) "Oh...I err..didn't realize I had anything on my hand...er...its pasta sause. It wasn't very good (ramble ramble ramble)"

Young Male Banker- "Oh"

Me- (Thinking "GET ME OUT OF HERE!") *stares at tv*

Young Male Banker- "Well let me go get your money order"

Me- *keeps looking at tv*

Young Male Banker- "Well, here you go" "So, how long have you been married?"

Me- *keeps looking at tv* "2 1/2 years"

Young Male Banker- "Oh, wow. You got married early. Well good luck on the marriage"

Me- "Thanks" (At that point he gave me the money order and I tried my hardest not to RUN out of the store)


Do you See why I can never go back? What would you have done in the same situation? I mean, I'm sure you aren't all as paranoid as I am, but I'm sure you'd all have some reaction if you thought that some guy was so brazenly hitting on a married woman. Right? ...RIGHT?

At least he wasn't *actually* hitting on me. I don't know what I would have done in that situation. Probably something very similar to what I did, but with more indignation and less stammering.

As I write this I realize that it probably doesn't seem so horrible to anyone but me. Just more evidence of my extreme anxiety, I suppose. Regardless, I hope you all got a good laugh and will understand if I don't cash a check for a while.

The Thing About Me Is...

L. over at homesick home tagged me for a mem. I've never been memtagged before, so I thought it would be fun to do.

Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

...And Away We Go!

1) I graduated Highschool at 16 with honors.

2) I went to a women's college until I realized that I wanted to be a nurse and they didn't have a program. There were other reasons I left, but let's just leave it at that.

3) I am really sickly. I've had 4 surgeries in the past 5 years. No one seems to know what the underlying cause for all of this might be.

4) I'm infertile. (Right as I said that my 2 year old son came running out of his room with a plastic swoard as if to say "what do you call me, chopped liver?!") My theory is that the general sickliness is tied to the infertility, but unfortunately my doctor seems much more concerned with getting me pregnant than figuring out why I can't get that way on my own.

5) I'll never tell you how old I am. That goes for everyone. If you figure it out (eh...not that hard) keep it to yourself! The reason for this is that I *am* young and I don't particularlly want to deal with the assumptions that come along with being married and having a baby at my age.

6) I didn't start out this way, but I am a conservative Pentecostal. That's one assumption I don't mind people making!

7) We're not upc, but sometimes I wish we were. I'm strangely drawn to their lifestyle. In case you didn't know, the upc has "standards" of holiness. These include not cutting your hair, wearing only long skirts and dresses, no make up, no short sleaves, ect. I don't know why I'm drawn to this, but I am.

8) I am a terrible housewife. I've struggled my entire life with clutter. I'm using FlyLady to try to help. Thus far I have a sparkling sink

I tag...anyone who wants to do this. The whole "tagging" thing is too much pressure!

Wisdom

My e-friend Bethany answered a question regarding miscarraige at her site. I thought it was really good so I'm reposting it here.


From Bethany @ http://bethany.preciousinfants.com/

Louise, thank you for your kind words, and I am so sorry that you are going through a possible miscarriage. I do not know enough about levels to know whether your miscarriage is inevitable or not, but I do hope and pray that whatever happens, you will have a peace throughout your soul. I know this is a difficult time for you.

I took a look at the site you gave me. While I feel that many of the things said do hold much truth, something about the site bothers me. I feel that they place blame on mothers for their miscarriages. I do not feel that this is right.

I am not a Biblical scholar, but I have read the Bible much over the years. This site mentions many of the promises given by God to the Isrealites when they were given the promised land. I believe that the "promised land" for them in that time was literal. God gave the Isrealites these promises.

However, for us, I do not believe these promises apply in the literal sense, as in, a literal land of milk and honey on the earth. The "promised land", in my opinion (for us) is an analogy for Heaven. When we are in Heaven, no one will die, or be sick, and all tears will be wiped away. This is our promise from God. We have a promise of eternal life through Jesus Christ.

I feel that most of the Old Testament stories, while literally true, are analogies which help us to understand God's covenant for us today. For instance, Moses held up the bronze serpant on a stick (Numbers 21:4-9), so that the people could look on it to escape punishment and to be healed of their sickness. Today, we look to Christ to escape punishment and to live eternal life.

14And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up:

15That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.
I don't think that we should take promises that God gave others, and apply them literally to ourselves. We must look at who God is speaking to and understand how it applies to us today. Of course, like I said, I am no Biblical scholar and I could be wrong.

When Job went through all of his suffering, did he lose his family, his possessions, everything he ever held dear to himself, through any sin of his own?

God told Satan:
"Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?"

Satan replied (I'm paraphrasing), "Well the only reason he fears you is because you have built a hedge around him and made him safe. You have increased his goods and he is comfortable with you. If all of this was taken away, he would curse you."

God told Satan that he had the power to do whatever he would to Job, except take his life.

When Satan took all of Job's family, all of Job's livestock, Job's home, Job's land, Job's possessions, what did Job do? He said, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD."

This story, I believe, was given to us to show us an example of how we can go through suffering, even losing the lives of the people we love dearly, for a purpose. This is not always the result of sin.

God rewarded Job after his suffering had ended, and I know that Job also was able to meet his family again in Heaven after he died (and I am absolutely certain that when he went to Heaven, he understood what the purpose was for losing them- God wipes all tears from our eyes). Our life is temporary here. We live here temporarily, and if we are saved, we go to Heaven. That is our hope. Our children when they die, they are in Heaven. We will meet them again, and I believe firmly that when we see them in Heaven, we will understand the reasons that they had to die. Their death is not their end!

When the disciples asked Jesus, "Who sinned, this blind man or his parents, that he was born blind?", what did Jesus tell them?

Jesus told them, "Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him."

I believe that the trials and the sufferings that we endure in this life are here for a purpose...we do not always understand what the purpose is. But I assure you that if you are a believer, all the suffering that you endure will be for God's glory, and will work together for your eventual good, and most likely, the good of others. "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

For what purpose was Joseph thrown into a well by his own brothers? And then sold into slavery?
At the time, I am sure he could have doubted God's love for him, and could have wondered why God would have allowed him to endure such suffering. After all, what kind of purpose could God have for him to be sold into slavery? We do not always understand God's reasonings.

I'm sure you remember what ended up happening. Joseph ended up being second in command to the Pharoah, and he ended up preventing thousands and thousands of people from starving when the famine came.

There are so many examples of people suffering, and losing their loved ones in the Bible...and many times, it was not a direct result of their own sins. Yes, death is a result of sin...the sin that we are all born with.
But I am talking about the direct result of a particular sin that you committed, or a sin that your husband committed, etc. I do not believe that this is the reason that you might be miscarrying. Do you see what I am saying?

I would hate for any woman to blame herself for the death of her child. If a woman loses her born children, due to cancer, or a car wreck, or any other cause, we do not try to find and place blame on her for this...why are people trying to find blame in a woman for a miscarriage? What a woman needs when she is miscarrying is comfort and peace and love, not blame.
Blaming a woman for her miscarriage brings about unnecessary confusion, sorrow, worry, and fear.

Does God ever promise us that we will not have troubles on this earth?

No, there are multitudes of verses in the old and new testament which deal with God's comfort through our trials. If our life was meant to be without trials, then there would be no need for these verses.

"He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. "

(it occurs to me through the above verse that perhaps one reason for my miscarriage was to give me the wisdom and understanding to acknowledge other women's pain through miscarriage, so that I will have the ability to comfort them, where without having the experience, I would have not had the ability).

"My grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9 "

"Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians4:16-18"

"But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. Romans 8:28"

"For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. Romans 8:18"

And God shall wipe away ALL tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Revelation 21:4

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into various trials; knowing this, that the trial of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. James 1:2-4

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. Ecc. 3: 1-8

Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd,I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

"Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4"
******************************************

There are many more verses like these, but I hope that they will give you some comfort and peace as you go through your trial.

(Right now, I'm sure you know that I am going through a trial as well. I know I posted that the doctor told me I am pregnant, but I am still bleeding, and it's very difficult for me to know for sure whether I'm carrying a baby, whether I'm not carrying a baby, or whether I'm carrying two babies....or if I even miscarried one and have another. I won't know until I get the ultrasound and even then I won't be absolutely certain. It's so hard waiting and not knowing. I completely understand how you feel.)

(I want to add that I do agree with them that you can pray in faith and that miracles can happen. This is Biblical. I simply want to make sure that if the answer to your prayer is not "yes", that you do not blame yourself.)

As for your question, what is the baby's purpose....I hope this has helped to answer. I do not think we will always know right away what our babies' purposes are on this earth. I know that our days are numbered from the time we are conceived.... God knows exactly how long each of us will live, even from the very beginning. I don't know what every baby's purpose is (just as I don't know what any other person's purpose is, grown or in the womb), but I do know that God promises that everything happens for a specific purpose, and that we must trust that He knows what He is doing.

"'My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,' says the Lord. 'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

If you are wondering if your baby will definitely meet you in Heaven:

Read 2 Samuel Chapter 12. Remember when David and Bathsheba had a baby out of adultery? The baby became sick...while the baby was sick, David prayed to God to spare the baby's life, and would not eat or sleep. As soon as the child was known to have died, David got up, washed his face, and worshipped God. When he was asked why he wasn't mourning the baby anymore, David answered, ". . .I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me."
Based on this verse, and others which confirm the life and soul of unborn children, I believe that babies do go to Heaven.
I hope that perhaps this has been of some comfort to you. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do....I will pray for you.... please keep me updated on your situation. ((((hugs))))

My Husband's Site

Here's a link to my husband's site. He's yet to make a first post, but that should happen sometime today. If you were around during the "good 'ol days" of this blog when I posted philosophical musings and debates, you're going to feel right at home at Oliver's.

This site will continue to be staunchly pro-life, but I think it will continue to trend more twoards family and religion. Don't get me wrong, I am here first and foremost to raise awareness of the autrocity of abortion. It's just that I'm starting to lose steam as far as new and relivent posts go in that area. I think it will be good for me to have add Oliver's philosophy back in the mix!

Anyways add Oli to your blogrolls, you'll be glad you did!

http://liverpop.wordpress.com/